It's not ever really goodbye.
He always makes sure I know it's just, 'see you soon. Very soon. I promise'
I'm always the first to cry. The night before one of us leaves, I just look at him, and everything just wells up in my chest and I burst into tears. He holds me close, with my head buried in his chest, and he cries too, which makes me cry more.
It's hard, saying goodbye. The last night together; that moment our hands separate for the last time for a few weeks; It sucks. The first few days alone are probably the hardest. Getting used to not being able to see his face when I wake up, or feel him beside me while I'm sleeping. Not having him there to talk to or laugh with.
Slowly you start getting back into your old routine, and things get that little bit easier. You keep yourself as busy as you can and talk to each other as often as your schedules allow. Our best conversations are probably the ones just before we fall asleep, when there's no distractions to keep you from putting your phone down and not being able to respond a text for a couple of hours.
Sometimes we already know when we're going to see each other again, which makes saying goodbye just that little bit easier.
Sometimes the best visits have been when he makes little stopover trips. He catches a 6am flight and crawls into bed beside me by about 9am. One night and two days together. Usually we stay in bed all day and just talk. Sometimes I just look at him.
The excitement in the air when we finally have a date set to see each other, and flights booked, is like nothing else. We get so antsy waiting for the moment we can finally throw our arms around each other and spend a week forgetting that anything else exists.
So, the goodbye's aren't all bad. I think the worst part is the actual parting. That last glance; your hands breaking apart; trying to hold back tears when he kisses you on the forehead to keep you safe, and tells you he loves you.
I guess the sweeter side of goodbye is knowing that it's one goodbye closer to no more goodbyes at all.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
The Sweeter Side of Distance.
I guess this day and age, finding love on the internet isn't exactly unconventional. Some people tend to make a big deal out of it, and yeah sometimes it doesn't work, or turns out badly, but other times, it just works.
The day Jack and I met was one of the most perfect days of my life. And I've had a lot of them this year. Nothing was contrived. As soon as we saw each other, it's like every doubt we might have had, all the nerves, just disappeared. Before we even said a word to each other, I kissed him, and it felt so natural, like we'd been dating for months.
Without going into too much detail, it's been 8 months since that day. We considered ourselves together much earlier than March. We tell everyone we started dating in January, and we may as well have. Everything that happened to get us to where we are now fell perfectly into place, and it has ever since.
The catch, I guess, is that we live 450km apart. It's about a six hour drive, a six hour train trip, or an hour on an airplane. And I know we are a lot luckier than couples who live in different states, or different countries, but I also know that when we're apart, there is a gaping hole in my chest that will never be filled by anything, or anyone else.
We have so many people ask us how we make the distance work. I so often have trouble explaining it, because, we just do. I guess the most simple way to put it, and what I say to most people who ask, is that, when you find someone you love, and care for so deeply; someone who moves when you move, who loves you unconditionally... You don't let anything get in the way of it. If you want to be with someone, you shouldn't let anything stop you. Not a highway, not an ocean.
It's not always easy. Jack and I are lucky that we see each other pretty much every fortnight. Sometimes for a week, sometimes for a night. But there have been a lot of times, during the very few times we've had to spend more than two weeks away from each other, that it seems too much. Some mornings you wake up, and dont want to face the day, because he's not there. But we grow stronger for it.
Every bad day is forgotten when I look at him.
Knowing that the distance is only temporary makes every minute without him worth it. We make plans and talk about the future and there is nothing anyone can do or say that is going to stop us.
He is my life, my hope, my dreams, and my future.
The day Jack and I met was one of the most perfect days of my life. And I've had a lot of them this year. Nothing was contrived. As soon as we saw each other, it's like every doubt we might have had, all the nerves, just disappeared. Before we even said a word to each other, I kissed him, and it felt so natural, like we'd been dating for months.
Without going into too much detail, it's been 8 months since that day. We considered ourselves together much earlier than March. We tell everyone we started dating in January, and we may as well have. Everything that happened to get us to where we are now fell perfectly into place, and it has ever since.
The catch, I guess, is that we live 450km apart. It's about a six hour drive, a six hour train trip, or an hour on an airplane. And I know we are a lot luckier than couples who live in different states, or different countries, but I also know that when we're apart, there is a gaping hole in my chest that will never be filled by anything, or anyone else.
We have so many people ask us how we make the distance work. I so often have trouble explaining it, because, we just do. I guess the most simple way to put it, and what I say to most people who ask, is that, when you find someone you love, and care for so deeply; someone who moves when you move, who loves you unconditionally... You don't let anything get in the way of it. If you want to be with someone, you shouldn't let anything stop you. Not a highway, not an ocean.
It's not always easy. Jack and I are lucky that we see each other pretty much every fortnight. Sometimes for a week, sometimes for a night. But there have been a lot of times, during the very few times we've had to spend more than two weeks away from each other, that it seems too much. Some mornings you wake up, and dont want to face the day, because he's not there. But we grow stronger for it.
Every bad day is forgotten when I look at him.
Knowing that the distance is only temporary makes every minute without him worth it. We make plans and talk about the future and there is nothing anyone can do or say that is going to stop us.
He is my life, my hope, my dreams, and my future.
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